Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize