Little spoons don't ask big questions
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
