I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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