Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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