This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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