Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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