Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
