That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
