There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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