That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
