after a month anything with tits is on the radar
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
