You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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