You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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