Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
