All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
