He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
