So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
