You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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