Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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