I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am naked and annoyed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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