i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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