Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Your cock deserves a montage
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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