How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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