Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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