just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I've blown a few things in my day
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
