Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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