I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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