We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
