Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize