i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Of course I have a pirate flag
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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