Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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