Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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