Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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