There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
