guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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