I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
