You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize