i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
