he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
