We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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