i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
