i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
