he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
