You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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