there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we're chasing vodka with high fives
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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