Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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