The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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