Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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