he wants to bone in the snuggie
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My dick has a subreddit
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
