Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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