exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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