I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
