Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
