How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
