My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
