i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
