she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
