It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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