Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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