This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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