so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
