And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
