on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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